Now that we’re starting a New Month and a New Week with no one being sick (knock wood), I’m back to my regular schedule that I really enjoyed getting into. The chaos of the past two weeks was really wearing on me. The youngest constantly getting up throughout the night was difficult. Going to bed when the kids did on Friday was a brilliant decision. I took my last dose of antibiotics last night so hopefully my body will be getting back to normal (I shan’t elaborate. You’re welcome.).
I did the Cardio Yoga this morning (and yes, after 2 weeks of being zonked out on the sofa, I felt it!). I *really* like this segment. I feel like it gets my body limber and it gets my heart rate up.
Today after I write, I’m going to go to Aldi for grocery shopping, because as my daughter pointed out, we have NOTHING TO EAT. Except, you know, for all the food. I made oatmeal this morning for her, my youngest, my husband and myself, because we only had one serving of milk (not that she likes Cheerios, which was the cereal option). It was a good hearty breakfast on a morning when the temperatures were low (it’s about 25* right now) but the kids didn’t care for it very much. It does make me crazy that they are so picky anymore. They used to eat anything I put in front of them but now it seems like we eat “kid food” more and more. It makes it difficult to plan a menu, but I keep trying! There are some things that I know they won’t eat but I like well enough to make and just let them eat the side dishes if they don’t want to eat the real food!
Then I have to take care of mailing and delivering some Girl Scout cookies. The money is due today and I still have 5 or 6 orders that I haven’t been able to connect with. Granted, our illnesses coincided perfectly with the delivery times, but we were still out at least three times around the neighborhood, and twice at church, to deliver cookies. There WILL BE A SYSTEM next year. I hate that I’m stuck paying for these cookies, to say nothing of the fact that I’ve put in a lot of work… There have been paid jobs that I didn’t work this hard at! However — she did sell 210 boxes and was 2nd in her troop. She and her troop will be going on an overnight camp, which will be a lot of fun! I feel like it’s taught her a lot about organization, sales, ethics, and goal-setting. Definitely a worthwhile endeavor and next year we’ll use what we learned this year to improve the experience.
I’d like to write a little about an assignment I took that I didn’t succeed in completing. This project was “concluded” (or taken away/abandoned) and it led directly to a very difficult period of depression and anxiety for me, which led to this blog being revived and my career-revival being a goal. The project was to rewrite product descriptions for a local business’s website. It was out of my comfort zone but not drastically so. I thought I would be able to get it done pretty quickly and spice up the descriptions pretty well. However, I really blew it! The technical format was unfamiliar to me and I wasn’t confident in the actual nuts and bolts of getting the pages updated. I wasn’t terribly excited about the subject — as I discovered when I was reading through the pages, I thought most of the things were what I would consider unnecessary and overpriced. Which makes it hard for me to be convincing about. Honestly, the act of writing was sort of a drag but I think that the descriptions I gave her were not too bad. I submitted several tries to the owner of the store and she wasn’t happy with any, and it just fell apart. I didn’t know what she wanted, and I wasn’t able to give it to her.
Of course I felt bad that I wasn’t able to do what I assumed would be a very easy task. I felt embarrassed that I failed and I felt ashamed that I’d gotten the referral to do the work from a friend, and the website owner is someone who is in a few of the same social circles I am. It could be uncomfortable. My friend who referred me for this gig was approached about doing it and asked me a little about why it didn’t work out. I was honest and said it just wasn’t a good fit — whether she wasn’t clear enough in her objectives or whether I just couldn’t interpret her feedback, I don’t know. I also mentioned that the work was tedious, both in subject and in format.
I wish I had been able to just slam-dunk that job, honestly. It would have been easy to fit into my days, it would have led to other work, all that kind of stuff. It was the sort of gig that I could do while I was doing it and leave it when I was done for the day, and not “take home with me.” I think it’s the sort of thing that my husband thinks I’d be relatively good at and that I can find work doing this sort of work, and maybe if I get more confident through this writing project, maybe I will be. That’s the goal at least, or to somehow search my soul so much that the perfect job reveals itself among a heavenly host descending from above. Something to that effect, at least.
In the meantime I will just keep writing. Just keep exercising, just keep thinking, just keep trying. I keep thinking about the lyrics to Light by Phish (yes, I know, I have a Phish problem.):
Obstacles are stepping-stones
That guide us to our goals
Fences are filters
That purify our souls
It also reminds me of the quote by Randy Pausch, the late Carnegie Mellon University professor who went to our church (although by the time we got there, he had been quite ill and moved to Virginia so his family could be closer to his wife’s family and support system. In his powerful Last Lecture, he said,
“Brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want something badly enough. They are there to keep out the other people.”
I believe that. It sucks to feel like “the other people” so often though. But I am certain I’ll come up against *my* brick wall in good time.
- Cardio Yoga: 20 minutes
- Words written: 1200+ !!!
- Weight: 149. Really??? I feel like I didn’t eat anything for a week straight. I think this must be hormonal, and have nothing to do with Girl Scout Cookies.
- Job I Don’t Want: Writing Copy I Don’t Like.
- Deck Check: Love Is My Religion, Ziggy Marley (Love Is My Religion).