SCHOOL'S OUT!!!

First day of Kindergarten:

Last day of Kindergarten:

First day (of his first year) of Pre-K:

Last day:

First Day 2010-2011:

Last Day 2010-2011:

They were very proud of their gifts for the teachers -- the signs had their pictures on one side and the other side says, "Thank you for helping me grow."

And yes, she dressed herself.  The skirt is part of a Walmart Halloween costume for a butterfly/princess/cowgirl/hooker/who knows what.

So, everyone seems to be making a "Summer Bucket List."

We decided to just call it a Summer of Fun List!

We've already done some items, and there are some things we'll do over and over.

Dinner at the playground

Library

Ride bikes

Pick strawberries

spray park

S'mores

Origami Club

3 Rivers Arts Festival

Feed Ducks

Ice Cream Station Zebra

Etna Fireman's Fair

Farmer's Market

Toy Library

Climbing Wall

Play in Sandbox

Home Depot Kids Build

Funfest

Edible Schoolyard

Roving Arts Cart

Pool

Pick Mulberries

Game Night

Children's Museum

Fireworks

Hike

Pride Parade

Read

Allegheny Cemetery

Dino Museum

Sprinkler

Catch fireflies

Thing Three's B-Day

Play with friends

Fly Kites

Family Movie Night

Make popsicles

Bubbles

Make windchimes

Zoo

Go out for breakfast

Klavons

Water balloons

Stay-up-late-night

Learn about space

Go to the Movies!

Spoken to First Born Son, who wouldn't pull up his pants after going to the bathroom, in an effort to forestall bedtime:

"When I was little, the nuns told the little girls in our class that when we had children of our own, that we could pray to the Virgin Mary for the patience to be good moms ourselves. Well, I am sure the Baby Jesus didn't walk around with his pants down around his ankles when his mom told him to PULL UP HIS PANTS."

And the best part, from the other room, my wonderful husband, "Catholicism sounds so polytheistic sometimes."

Not technically yet, but it sure felt like it today!

At a yard sale, my 4-year-old boy reasoned that the number 42 referred not to how many inches wide a Spiderman kite was, but how many pennies it cost. The seller could not argue with him!

"You know, if you keep putting your hands in your poopy diaper, one of these days when the new Goodwill opens up in Lawrenceville, Mommy might donate you there. Then some hipster will buy you for $2.50 and then where will you be? You'll be wearing little baby skinny jeans and ironic sunglasses, that's where you'll be, and don't come crying to me when that happens."

I had a good day with my littlest monkey and the boy I babysit, a fun and delicious dinner of home-made vegetable sushi, and unfortunately a crappy post-dinner evening. Literally, My 4 1/2 year old... let's just say that from now on, given the events of the previous THREE EVENINGS, he will be sitting on the potty for either 1/2 an hour or until he poops. I'm just at a loss.

Tonight was another of what feels like a long string of solo-parenting nights. The Silverback retreated after dinner to his den to work, and then left for an outside commitment before bedtime. I put the littlest to bed and left the big ones downstairs and of course there was fighting, screaming, crying going on while I was trying to put my curly-haired angel monkey down for a restful night.

I came downstairs in a cloud of anger. The living room was trashed, papers, markers, toys, everywhere. My eldest son's bare bottom was a reminder of his previous potty errors, and I immediately went into “CLEAN UP THIS PLACE RIGHT NOW!!!” mode. And I mutter. Oh how I mutter. “I don't know why I blah blah blah mother not a servant blah blah blah can't believe I blah blah blah...”

Then it came time to put up some of our picnic plates in the cabinet over the fridge – no mean feat for a short girl like myself. “What a disaster this cabinet blah blah blah so much junk blah blah blah” and of course I managed to create a huge avalanche of plastic picnic plates fall on my kids (who as usual were at my feet). They did the most amazing thing. They picked everything up and handed it to me.

I stepped down from my chair, sat down upon it.

My daughter pulled up a child sized chair next to me.

My son said, “Mommy, can I hug ya?”

And then we went outside to sit. My girl and I sat on our stoop and looked at birds flying and singing. She told me I was a good mama. I told her that when I hear her and her brother shouting it makes me worry I'm not. I told her that when her brother misbehaves so, I feel like I am not doing a good job. She gave me a hug and started reading a book to me because she knows that makes me happy.

And then we all blew bubbles together.

Remarkably they went to bed easily enough. Thing One had some Muslim prayer beads and said she was going to pray. Now, agnostic UU that I am I asked her what a prayer was. She said it was a wish you made while you were holding the beads. Sounds about right to me. She's so so wise!!!

Her wishes were silly and serious. She talked for about 10 minutes about wishing her unicorn pillow pet was a ladybug pillow pet. She wished for a puppy. She wished that mommies could have more fun. She wished that she could get married to the boy she plans on marrying... although he told her they couldn't because they might not go to the same college. She wished that I would wear pink every day.

And the boy? I only had to go upstairs twice, and threaten just once to take Mr. Froggie away, before he settled down.

My kids totally cheered me up and turned my crappy evening around. There's no way I can be screwing up as badly as I frequently feel, when they have the capacity to be so fucking awesome.

i am sick. high fever, sore throat. i feel like c.r.u.d. i have been fighting it for 2 weeks and it got me.

now, back in the 'good old days' when i worked in an office, even when we had kids... i was able to just call in sick! i'd send the kids to daycare as planned and take care of myself!

not that my wonderful husband didn't take care of me -- he let me sleep in, brought me whatever i wanted this morning -- but he had a meeting this afternoon, starting at 2pm. and now it's after 6pm and he's still gone. i am just praying that he is home in time for bedtime... and that no one goes into labor early!!!

now, i really loathe being sick. i can only shirk my duties so much. and i let people down and i hate it.

My daughter's hosting her first sleepover. Deep breaths.

What a day! Some quick thoughts...

#1 -- I am in far poorer shape right now than when I ran my first 5k at the end of September, 2010. But I ran twice as far!

#2 -- I ran 6.2 miles in 1:15:17, which puts me at a 11:37 mile.  Meh. 

My goal was 1:15 and to not pee my pants but maybe if I hadn't stopped at every port-a-potty I would have finished in better time?  Resolve: run in a Depends from now on. 

Not that it's a terrible time but my last training run was a full minute per mile faster, on a hillier course, so I was disappointed -- especially because in looking at the results, there were seriously 2 other relay runners that were slower than me on that leg.  Also, I was keeping pace with other runners who were pacing for a 26 mile run.  I wonder if I had been running in a straight 10k if I would have been faster. 

I need one of those watch-a-ma-jiggies that keeps track of your mileage and time and whatnot. 

#3 -- I raised $613 for my charity, Gilda's Club!  Thanks to those of you who donated!!! 

#4 -- My gluteus maximus is in a maximus amount of pain today.

#5 -- I loved all the little kids cheering.  Their pennies in pop bottles noisemakers were AWESOME and their high-fives were irresistable. 

#6 -- I am a cryer.  I cry.  Happy, sad, whatever, I cry.  I cried when I passed the Steel City Greyhounds's Cheerathon Team at Mile 18 and saw a poor sweet 3-legged greyhound.  I cried when I saw the good folks from GTECH planting sunflowers in a city-owned vacant lot in Homewood.  I cried when I passed the cross-street that would've taken me HOME.  I cried when I thought I was almost to East Liberty and realized I still had 3 blocks to go. 

I just cry.  It's OK. 

#7 -- I am seriously considering the half for next year.  I would still love to get to 1:10 or even one hour for The Great Race 10k in the fall. 

And here is a picture of our team!  I'm the slightly doughy one with crazy hair. 

I was reading over some posts I had written on a message board over the past several years and I was struck by my ungenerous attitude toward the different parenting choices that moms and dads make. By how I felt free to make sweeping generalizations about the motivations and character of a mom based on one of thousands choices she has made.

Now, don't get me wrong. I still feel really firmly about a LOT of things. A LOT. But maybe because I think that between three kids, I have had varied experience and I'm beginning to suspect that it doesn't really matter THAT MUCH what I do -- they were born their own people and that's who they are.  I think there are choices I can make that can increase their chances of being safe and healthy and having good habits, but I think they're just hard-wired in some significant ways.

Like this girl today?  She asked me for toast with butter and salt for breakfast.  The perfect storm of her father and my maternal grandmother.

There are things that I have done that I feel are based in evidence from research that I believe increase my kids' odds of emerging from childhood safe and healthy.  Bike helmets.  Leaving my sons intact.  Extended breastfeeding.  Eating a generally healthy and vegetarian diet.  Extended rear-facing carseats and extended 5-point harnessed car seats.  These are things that I can't imagine looking at the evidence I have seen, and being in the circumstances I am, and making any other choice.  Of course, luckily for the world, my brain is one of a kind, so no, I really can't judge someone for making a different choice.

Then there are things that I feel just make things more pleasant, fulfilling, or easy for the family.  Babywearing.  Public school.  Cloth diapering and cosleeping (for Thing Three at least).  I can see how another family wouldn't make those choices and I think that these choices aren't going to change the core of who my kids are.

THEN there are things I choose to do that other parents might think are those horrible things they would never do, and make me unfit to parent, or even just wacky.  Things like....  vaccinating.  Extended breastfeeding.  Not being on antidepressants.  Vegetarian kids.  Keeping kids in car seats when their peers are not.  Not circumcising.  Cosleeping.  Letting my kids watch TV.   Letting my kids eat candy and junk and food dyes from time to time.  Having my kids look perhaps a little wonky because that's what they decided to wear, or because I like their hair a little insane-y.

I've been told that one of my kids needs professional help for an eating disorder.  As you can imagine this diagnosis was made over the interwebs by someone who is not a medical professional.  I've been told my kids are going to hell because of their religious upbringing (which, lucky for them, doesn't include the belief in hell.... so I guess we're covered?).  I've been told that I'm lazy for doing any number of things.  

It used to be that I would say, or at least think, kind of the same sorts of thoughts when people made different choices.  And I'm really really ashamed and sorry about that.

Because guess what?

That mom with the 3-year-old bouncing around unrestrained in the back seat?  She loves her kid too.

That mom who homeschools her child, who seems to be a bit lacking in social skills?  She loves her kid too.

That mom who doesn't vaccinate her child?  She loves her kid too.

That mom who vaccinates her child according to the AAP schedule?  She loves her kid too

That mom who puts her child in every activity, lesson, sport team, and club?  She loves her kid too.

That mom who lets her kid play in the neighborhood without her supervision?  She loves her kid too.

That mom whose baby is taken away by social services?  Yup, she loves her kid too.

That mom who is breastfeeding her preschool-aged child?  She loves her kid too.

That mom who didn't bring her baby to the breast once?  She loves her kid too.

That mom who gives her 2-year-old a bottle of juice?   She loves her kid too.

That mom who circumsises her son?  She loves her kid too.

That mom whose kid is totally out of control?  She loves her kid too.

That mom who always looks like she just came from getting her hair did, with full make-up, no barf, boogers, or peanut butter smeared on her fashionable and appropriate clothing?  She loves her kid too.  

That mom who lets her kid cry it out?  She loves her kid too.

That mom?  That one over there?  The one in the mirror?  The one in the middle of the night wondering if she made any of today's thousand choices correctly?  She loves her kid too.